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Civility VA
July 6,
2006
On the day that you were forced to leave us, Mary John wrote: “While
all of us who loved your Casey feel diminished by her taking
away, I know it is the two of you whose hearts are profoundly
broken. Yet, somehow, I know that she is all around you now, in the
cool of the wind, in the warmth of the sunshine, in the twinkle of
an evening star.”
And that, I think, is the problem. You are all around us. In
everything there is some trace of the knowing smile in your eyes;
the warmth of your body, the vision of you skimming along the beach,
your feet barely touching the ground, and I desperately want to hold
you again. There are times when I literally feel you curled against
me in that special way we slept together. And repeatedly you still
come marching into my study to demand that I fulfill whatever desire
you have at the moment.
Friends told us that time would ease the pain. They were wrong.
Today it is stronger than ever before.
So, on this day, marking the first year we have not been able to
physically hold you, we want you to know that you will always be the
finest being we have ever known. As you know, Buxton and Rummel
chose to leave us to be with you. Their choice hurt us deeply but we
truly understand their reason. Living without you is difficult. You
brought us happiness, laughter and love. We thank you for that. We
miss you deeply.
You were (are) the perfect being. You never let us down or
disappointed us. You always loved us unconditionally and assumed the
same from us.
You taught us the meaning of joy and of pain. We’re trying to
remember the joy and forget the pain, but it is really difficult.
Know always that no one else in this universe could have, nor does,
love you more.
And to borrow from
F. Scott Fitzgerald:
Without you, “In the real dark night of the soul it is always three
o’clock in the morning, day after day”.
Everyone tells us that you would want us to go on with our lives and
be happy. They didn’t know you! You would have said, “You’d
better miss me every day, cause I am the Queen”! Damn right love,
you are the Queen! Otherwise, known as ‘Casey the Great.”
Love you always:
got your back.
Anne and
Judith
(Me too, Sundance)
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